You (BlacK) Beauty

Try to make friends with an horse.

Find any horse you like. Black, White, whatever. Be horse racist if it makes you feel better.

It won't.

Take the horse out for lunch but remember to take lots of money for two very important reasons.

1.) Horses eat like horses.

2.) Horses don't have a means of income and therefore, cannot pay.

Whatever you do, do not sleep with the horse. It will only become attached to you.

It will text you at all hours.

It will order things for you online and have them delivered to your place of work.

It's will kidnap a small child and threaten to launch the little fucker off a multi-story carpark if you don't agree to go to 'Koz' with it for 10 days in June.

My advise.

Just take the horse out for lunch and then kill yourself.